I have been extremely fortunate thus far in my life that I have not had to experience the loss of a close loved one, touch wood. While I have watched those close to me experience loss, I myself have not had to go through grief; other than a couple of family pets. I have always understood mortality and though it can be hard to come to terms with, it is simply a fact of life. I have always considered my own wishes when it comes to death and the traditions that come along with it, however it has always been very hard for me to accept the fact that the ones I love will have their time as well. I decided to discuss this with my boyfriend because I feel that if we are choosing to spend our lives together, I should know his own wishes.
I have a tendency to be blunt so he was quite taken aback when I asked him “What do you want to happen after you die?” over breakfast Thursday morning. The mere thought of going to his funeral was almost too much to bare when he surprised me with his answer. He is an avid hunter/fisher/outdoors-man who was born and raised in the Ellensburg area, and there is a specific spot in this hills that he holds very dear. He informed me that he had read about something called “bio-urns” that essentially are plant seeds and soil mixed in with one’s ashes that are planted into the ground; he wants to become a part of his “hunting hole” as he calls it.
While the initial thought of this conversation brought me sadness and anxiety, he explained his wishes so peacefully and so matter-of-fact that it brought me some peace as well. Had something happened to him, I never would’ve known about his choices and how to honor them had I not started this conversation. We hold a large amount of respect for the one’s we love, so why wouldn’t we respect their choices in death as well? Neither of us had ever even considered making a will or filling out an advance directive, probably due to our young age, but when we both got to talking about our wishes we realized how important those things are. While death is a hard topic for most people, it is inevitable, but we can make things much easier on our loved ones when we have our choices already laid out for them.